WEEKEND BETTING TIPS (07/02/2015)

As usual, we are gathered here to make some serious money off those motherfcvkers. Have a meritorious weekend. Without further ado:

TOTTENHAM vs ARSENAL
There was a story this week about Clark Carlisle, an ex-footballer who got hit by a lorry in his native England. In actual fact, he jumped in front of the lorry coz he wanted to die & 'end it all'. After weeks in hospital, he came out to apologize to the driver of the lorry who must've been seriously traumatized. Mr Carlisle was depressed you see! People still snigger at people with 'mental' illness. It is 2015 people. We cannot be oblivious to it. Depression exists. If anyone reading this is in a similar state, please talk to someone immediately. Anyone. When you have another perspective to view things from, you're well on your way to wellness.
Phew.

Its all in the head, isn't it! For a decade now, Tottenham have been threatening to catch their North London neighbours, only to bottle it at the very end. Both teams are in really good nick going into this one and I'm going to err on the side of caution here.
Over 1.5 goals.

MAN CITY vs HULL CITY
Routine Manchester city win over a woefully out of form Hull.
Home win

EVERTON vs LIVERPOOL
When a man takes his own life, its called Suicide.
When a man takes another's life, its a Homicide.
When there's a mass killing, its a Genocide.
When you kill unwanted guests, you use a Pesticide.
When there are two teams in a large city with no Premier League Title between them, we call it Merseyside.
Over 1.5goals

MIDDLESBROUGH vs CHARLTON
1X

WOLFSBURG vs HOFFENHEIM
A famous victory over Guardiola's soldiers is still fresh in memory. An excellent side.
Big win for Wolfsburg

RENNES vs MARSEILLE
Marseille have been a little wobbly of late. I don't like. Normal services will resume in this one.
Away win

ATLETICO vs REAL
When people see a boy like myself (gangly, and a little nerdy) go after a classy girl, I imagine they turn up their noses and tell themselves he couldn't possibly sleep with THAT chick. Yet, he bleeps her. Repeatedly. Using all the styles in that Kamasutra flick. And Atletico keep bleeping Real. This one is hard to call for me.
Over 1.5goals

BILBAO vs BARCA
over 2.5goals.

GUINGAMP vs MONACO
Monaco. Hmmm. A girl has a sugar daddy that sponsors her education at Harvard. 4semesters into her education, the man drastically cuts his supply of cash. It shakes the girl initially, but those few semesters have rubbed off on her such that she can still hold her own in a community of degree holders.
Double-chance on Monaco because she's a dropout.

Also, bet on straight victories for Porto and PSV.

11games. That should do very nice with our agreed 200 Naira.

Its a wrap boys.
Yours in tipstery;
Captaincue.