TOTTENHAM vs WEST HAM
Rumour has it that big, fat SAM will be leaving at the end of the season. Perhaps that has affected the team. In the battle of the hams, there's no ham in betting on a Tottenham victory.
Home win.
EVERTON vs LEICESTER
Everton played with the swagger of last season in their Europa league victory; scoring four goals in the process. I'm still not fully convinced.
Over 1.5
SOUTHAMPTON vs LIVERPOOL
On our family comp, I remember I did something with my console and super Mario defied the laws of gravity. The motherfucker floated in the air and flew past 'home'. I had to restart the game and lose a bet. It did not make any sense. And I suspect this tip won't make any sense:
Liverpool victory
CELTIC vs HAMILTON
In the dick-measuring contest of the Europa league, Celtic had the same size against one of them big-boys (Internazionale). A whopping 3inches. I keep telling you people, size is not everythi... (*taps mic* is this thing working?)
Comfortable home win
WILLEM II vs AJAX
A tasty odd of over 2.0 on an Ajax win here. As you should know, I love spicy, tasty things served to me on a silver. Red wine to boot.
Ajax win
SUNDERLAND vs WEST BROM
West brom are in swashbuckling, mid table firm. Sunderland are in dire straits.
No prizes for guessing what I'm staking on.
SWANSEA vs MAN UTD
The result of this United team is not up to the sum of its parts and I lay the blame squarely at the feet on LvG and his faux philosophy. Still, the bastards should have too much for Swansea.
United win
IPSWICH vs READING
Old, fat, chewing-gummy Yakubu is back in England. With Reading. Reading have been blowing hot n cold for a while now. Worth a punt though, even if its just to watch Yak miss from a yard out and spoil my accumulator.
X2
AUSBURG vs BAYER LEVERKUSEN
Away win
That's your lot for the weekend. Best of luck boys.
Yours in tipstery:
Captaincue
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