ABIDEEN. A Nigerian Erotica (Part 1)

You people know one of my jobs is teaching ba? For real 😊. I had time last night & an idea struck me. "Cue, why not create an Ilorin-centric character & write about his sex life? An erotica of sorts." So I did & now you'll suffer the consequences of my action by reading this. THIS all started as a Twitter thread. Now that it's all done, I have decided to condense it into a blogpost. Enjoy:

 

Without doubt, the worst kinds of Alfas in this our Ilorin are those ones with Yoruba names. "Alfa Toyin, Alfa Debọ, Alfa Kehinde, Alfa Tunde, Alfa Lekan." I'm not like them, because my name is Abideen & I'm not your regular run-of-the-mill Alfa. My parents gave me birth in Lagos, and like every true Lagosian, I grew up a belligerent egomaniac. After many petty wahalas I brought to my family growing up, things got to a head when I scored 199 in the OAU post-UME & I channeled my frustrations into chasing women..

I had no illusions about my nondescript looks, but one of the the girls I paid for sex in Lagos once commented that my penis was not regular, and that fueled my confidence. Sha, that's how one day, a girl was diagnosed with unwanted pregnancy on our Sokoya street in Oworo. Rumours started to fly as to the identity of the father. Without research, I knew 4 other older men that also marked her register. People knew this thing & my name was being mentioned too -- my parents heard! Thankfully, one of the men claimed the pregnancy, but deep down, I knew that was the first of my 11 children I had agreed upon with my God. My parents had had it up to here & they sent me to goan live with an ex-student of my mother who was an Alfa that ran a boarding Ile-Kewu in Ilorin. They wanted me to get disciplined. Hehe

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 ILORIN. Land of Alfas. The year was 2014, and having once watched Frank Nweke Jnr. speak, I invested the time that I didn't use in preparing for Jamb in reading books & watching films to broaden my vocabulary. Everyone accorded me with disrespect until I started exerting myself in the Ile-Kewu. First: by writing Alfa's essays for his diploma program in KwaraPoly. Then I started coaching his little children English lessons. After 6months, my food started having two meats.

The first time I saw Abọlọrẹ, I didn't think much of her. She was annoyingly short & she came with her parents to register as a non-boarder in our Ile-Kewu. For some reason, I've always preferred older women; probably because they'll know what to do with mistake-pregnancy. When Abọlọrẹ handed me her form for filing, I saw she was 17months older than & was seeking admission too. I can't even remember exactly how we bonded, but 2 weeks into knowing her, the lady had introduced me to the legendary lewd flirting of Ilorin women.

Being under the tutelage and supervision of a strict Alfa, I had not touched a woman for 7months & this led to severe breakouts on my face due to the excessive sperm in my body. I knew if I made the mistake of pressing those pimples on my face at the time, sperm would come out...

But I observe my 5 daily solat regularly & God does not forsake his own. One Thursday, Alfa had a function & in the evening, I was walking Abọlọrẹ to the junction when an Okada came too close & I had to dodge. That was when my arm brushed her breast & I apologized. She laughed it off, looked at my crotch & reamrked in that ghastly Ilorin Yoruba: "Olosi, maybe he's having an erection like that o"

Ah. Me.

I was an ardent reader & having read the laws of power, the 28th law flashed right before my eyes: ENTER ACTION WITH BOLDNESS

Abọlọrẹ had thrown the gauntlet. I just had to up the ante of our usual flirting. So I surprised myself by saying "I will have an erection and my trouser will still be touching ground?" She hmmd. I laughed. Our eyes briefly locked & I knew àgbákò was about to happen.

As we came to a dark corner on a deserted street, NEPA took light. I wanted to high-five God walahi. I knew nothing would happen if I didn't close the gap, and so I did. My penis was aching. After hesitating for a few seconds, she stood on the tips of her toes & brought her head close to mine. We kissed. It was dry at first. As a good Muslim, God knows I'm gentle. But when a sister makes the first move like that, I'm sure our sins will be recorded in her books. I slid my sweaty left palm across her right cheek & held her neck...

Then I stooped (God I hate short women) & kissed her this time. It was steamy & involved too much spittle for my liking. But I was 20 & learning the ropes. I didn't know if I had the carte-blanche to touch yet, so I stylishly rested both elbow on her breasts. She didn't react.

**Lookat God.

I felt a hardness come up against my elbows & knew I was doing something right. I slid my hand down her side and just as I touched her ass, I heard an Okada coming. I broke off the kiss & comported myself. We both laughed, I stopped the bike & she left...

With a sordid erection threatening to burst through my jeans, I went home with the sad knowledge that there would be no Ile-Kewu on Friday & I wouldn't see Abọlọrẹ. God works in mysterious ways walahi. The following day, at 7pm, Alfa handed me a potion & described her house.

When I got to there, Abọlọrẹ & her mother came to open the gate. I wished her couch-ridden dad a quick recovery & relayed the usage of the potion. Her mum gave me N500 & told Abọlọrẹ to escort me & lock the gate on her way back. Abọlọrẹ casually flicked a switch & the security light at their gate; just beside their well went off.

Kasa! You'll just know some proactive girls that will make it in life! She wore a gown & that was d first time I deduced that gowns>>>bumshort when it comes to quickies

Guy! We rushed each other like wild animals against the fence & picked things up from where we left them off o. Darkness is good -- I don't know why Nigerians insist on having light smh. I removed her hijab & I cupped her right breast. I struggled badly with unclasping her bra. I gave up and pushed the thing up instead. The breast came down & I undid the zip at the back of her gown before slipping them off her shoulders. I still had to make Ishai, so intricacies were abandoned. I stooped her went straight for a nipple.

I immediately felt silt in my mouth. Definitely, that bra had been cupping those breasts for at least two days, but personal hygiene took a second seat to my proverbial need to cum. I bit on her nipple and she reached for my akube joggers

**Lookat God 😊

She was crude. And straight to the point. She dipped her hand inside the band of my boxers, wrapped her tender fingers around my penis and clumsily attempted to bring it out. I screamed when the head painfully scraped my boxers. She said "ah" & I smiled..

I pulled both joggers & boxers half-way to my knees before my penis sprang free. The breeze was blissful. Abọlọrẹ spoke English. Ilorin women don't speak English unless they're intimidated by something 😲.

"Do you have condom?" 

I shook my head & she didn't seem to mind...

I recited Kursiyyu for protection from STDs while laying her hijab on the lid of the well. Now naked, Abọlọrẹ sat on the makeshift mattress as her legs dangled a few inches from the floor. With ample experience, I picked up a leg, held my dick & probed for an opening...

I quickly found it and just as I slowly slid in, she lifted her back off the lid of the well and wrapped her short legs around my naked butt as I went fully into her warm, slippery pussy. I started pumping & she was meeting me half-way. What insolence!

I had heard in a Lagos beer parlour that if you don't fuck women of nowadays well enough the first time, it'll be difficult to have a second chance. Sex was about power & dominion at that stage of my life. So I jerked harder & I felt her grip loosening with every thrust..

Eventually, her legs fell off my butt. I instinctively grabbed her right leg and put it on my shoulder. She adjusted her position. With her elbow propping her up on the well, I found her pussy again & playfully stroked her pussy.  Her neighbour's generator didn't let me hear sounds. She was repeatedly slamming her palm into the lid of the well; a-la Sammy Kuffour style in the 99 champions league final.

The neighbour's generator notwithstanding, I heard some sounds & it was not moaning. She made seething sounds through the clenched teeth. Ah. Due to my history with prostitutes in Lagos, I'd learned how to hold out for long. So I slowed my pace & pulled out of her. Her limbs seemed to be particularly weak.

Still, I put her gown on the floor & she knelt facing me. I gently flipped her around and she put her palms on d floor. That made the angle awkward. About three-quarters of my penis was covered in gooey fluid. Due to the darkness, I erroneously put my penis at her rectum & she recoiled in horror. I quickly apologized she went back in position before reaching from underneath her to guide me in. My God will bless this girl!

I knelt down properly on the sandy floor & firmly grabbed her hips. From the little experience I had, I knew that Nigerian women cannot convincingly handle hardcore doggie. As a good and considerate Muslim, I started slowly before the pace increased. Every fibre of frustration from my inability to secure admission went into every thrust and when I looked down again, she was now on her elbows and presented me a better angle. She arched her back & said something I didn't hear.

A light came from my phone & I saw  Alfa's name..

...I ignored the call, but knew it was time to cum. I slowed down the thrusting and transitioned to the long, deep ones. I groaned as I spurted into her and my eyes cleared.

No words were spoken as we quietly got dressed.

I realized the stupidity of releasing inside her, but I had a peculiar relationship with God & I prayed to him not to let my sperm be fertile for 4 years because I just don't like using condoms. Alfa called again & I told him getting bike was difficult

Abọlọrẹ kissed me. As I made my way home, I looked back and saw her limping to her house. **Alhamdulillah

Now I could rest easy. She had seen the sweat of my brows, the strength of my back, felt the intensity of my thrusting & she knew what I could do. An encore would be easy.

When I got home, Alfa instructed me to call the Ishai prayer and that was when I realized I was spent too. My voice was all shaky and at the back of the reservoir, I quickly used half a sachet of purewater to do my janaba, before performing ablution & joining Ishai prayers...

I was on my bed later that night when I got Abọlọrẹ's text: "Tenx for d fuckin". From her text, it was sure she was destined for KwaraPoly. I looked down at my dick, looked up at God & replied her "Let's just be thanking God."

That was the beginning of my Ilorin misdeeds.

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Thank you. Please remember, the above is 100% fiction. 100%.

Still, I just thought to play around with this Abideen character.  Should he become a thing?

I don't just write for fun o; I create stuff for money too. Reviews, Articles, Lists etc. I have a one-man writing agency that I run out of Ilorin. I'm scary good at combining ordinary words to devastating effect. Frighteningly good!

CAPTAINCUE (...is a freelance writer taking on gigs for unridiculous money. Send me a direct message on Twitter @Captaincue or send me a mail with your writing needs at kaptaincue@gmail.com)