Burnley vs Southampton:
Burnley are getting points of late & Southampton have lost their last 3games (to City, Arsenal & United) which would've put a little dent on their confidence.
A score draw.
Chelsea vs Hull:
I had a feeling in my gut Chelsea weren't going to win that game at Newcastle; hence my decision to include them out of my tips last week. Matic is back from suspension though, and normal services should resume.
Chelsea victory.
Leicester City vs Manchester City:
Tale of two (-chester) cities by Charles Dickens. I jest. Dzeko to score a brace.
City win, no questions asked.
Getafe vs Barcelona:
My wish is to get laid next week. But I know I won't get laid next week unless I lower my standards and do the girl that sells fruit at the junction. I don't like Barcelona and wish they would lose to Getafe. Wishes aren't horses. So that's two wishes denied in a week. Fucking genie!
Barca win.
Schalke vs Koln:
Schalke are one of the form teams in Europe right now. Maybe that Di Matteo bloke was decent after all.
Schalke victory.
Guingamp vs PSG:
They'll run PSG close, but their superior quality will ensure a comfortable PSG win in the end.
PSG win.
Porto vs Benfica:
Benfica have been rotten. They'll up their game for this one, but it'll amount to little.
Porto win.
Standard Liege vs Club Brugge:
Brugge scored 3unreplied goals the last time they met. The sale of Mitchy to Marseille has taken the wind out of their sails, and Club Brugge are first in the division for a reason.
Club Brugge win.
Wolfsburg vs Paderborn:
With DeBruyne and Perisic owning the midfield with flair and élan, Gustavo cleaning up behind them, Dost and Olic burying those chances; Wolfsburg are deceptively good.
Wolfsburg victory.
Monaco vs Marseille:
Two teams in red hot form. I'll take a raincheck on this one and just enjoy the game.
Man Utd vs Liverpool:
On Tuesday, I was chilling with two of my best friends when the short one left to have coitus with one of his women. The tall one too excused himself to meet one of his women also. Me? I just stretched out on the three-sitter, cursing providence for the dry-patch that I'm in, eating water melon, and crying into my pillow.
Liverpool are just like me at the moment -- in that they have nothing going their way. They are a shambles at the back. In attack...everywhere! Pay attention and read my lips:
Man-United-to-beat-the-shit-out-of-Liverpool.
P.S: Every game I leave out is a tricky one for me to call, & my life is hard enough as it is...I don't want anyone to curse me. Thank you.
Good luck.
--->>>Cue (they didn't even spare me the details!!!!)
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