PREDICTIONS (12/13-09-2015)

Hello all. I'm glad to resume this thing after the international break. This edition will be sharp and precise; almost devoid of any witty banter -- as I am emotionally distraught (girlfriend issues), but I promise this won't cloud my judgement in any way. Here you go:

EVERTON vs CHELSEA:
Three draws, three losses and two wins between these two in the opening eight games. It is an appalling record to say the least. Everyone thought Chelsea's tight victory at WestBrom was a watershed moment but Crystal Palace quickly put 'everyone' out of her misery. A pint of bad blood now exists between these two after the Stone's debacle. This will be an entertaining encounter that could go either way.
Over 2.5goals

MAN UTD vs LIVERPOOL:
Two early wins in the season followed by a limp draw and a demoralizing defeat for United; a carbon copy of Liverpool's form coming into this encounter. Then United signed Martial and gave the press something to masturbate to. I think United will ride on the crest of the Degea contract renewal to a victory. Not to mention their double over Liverpool last season.
Home win.

ATL MADRID vs BARCELONA:
The dynamic with which Atleti now operate is a different one from the defensive Juggernaut they used to be. They're note attack-minded these days. Both sides come into this on the back of uncomfortable consecutive victories. I think all stops will be pulled out in a high-scoring encounter.
Over 2.5goals

ARSENAL vs STOKE:
What was one a fortress (Emirates) has been anything but for Arsenal this season. After an underwhelming transfer window, Arsenal will look to shut some naysayers up. Stoke are no pushovers themselves.
Over 1.5goals

GIJON VS VALENCIA:
Two times I've tipped Valencia to win this young season, two times they've drawn matches. Like Shania Twain sang, I ain't no quitter!
Away win

LEVERKUSEN vs DARMSTADT:
Bayer sauntered to two easy victories before understandably getting beat by Bayern before the break. Against the newbies? Normal services will resume.
Home win.

FROSINONE vs AS ROMA:
I called Roma's victory over Juve and I'll confidently put my money on another Roma victory here. They're that good.
Away win.

JUVENTUS vs CHIEVO:
Fact: Chievo have started the season with a bang; banging in seven goals in two games -- including four unreplied goals against a competent Lazio side. Juve have a point to prove. This one's finely poised for a tonne of goals.
Over 2.5goals

HANNOVER vs DORTMUND:
Dortmund are in fine nick and one has to feel sorry for anyone that faces them at this point in time.
Dortmund win

PALACE vs MAN CITY:
Two form teams (first & second in the league). Just bet on at least three goals being scored, open a cold one and enjoy a cracking match.
Over 2.5goals

INTER vs AC (MILAN)
Due to a disheartening dearth in quality over the last couple of years, this fixture has served up some utter dross devoid of any quality. Change dolè
Over 3.5goals. (Lol. Seriously!!)

ESPANYOL vs REAL MADRID:
I no even research this one.
Away win please.

Good luck boys. And girls!

PREDICTIONS (29/30-08-2015)

So we nailed a miserly 50% of last week's predictions; a decidedly sharp decline from the 87.5% of the upper week. We are gathered here today to right those wrongs. Here goes:

NEWCASTLE vs ARSENAL:
Lunchtime kickoff at St James' Park between two sides who've been punching below their weight this season. These two sides fired blanks in their last league games and there couldn't possibly be a repeat here. Arsenal will look to make up for all those points they've dropped and Newcastle have to prove the impressive midweek win in the Cup wasn't a fluke. This one could swing either way.
Over 1.5

MAN CITY vs WATFORD:
City were a little tentative in the victory at Goodison park, but they will pull out all the stops at home to Watford; who aren't bad by any means, but hey, this is Man City. I think Sterling will get off the mark in this fixture.
Home win & Over 2.5

FENERBACHE vs ANTALYASPOR:
Fener's inconsistent results aren't exactly a shock as they've undergone a major squad reshuffle. Still, I think the league will be a fight between them and Besiktas. That said, Antalyaspor have won their last two games 3-2 and 3-1. They're evidently capable of dishing them out and packing them in. This should be fun.
Over 1.5

CHELSEA vs PALACE:
A nail biting end to a 3-2 victory at West Brom sets them up nicely for a potentially cracking game between two sides that score and concede freely. I think this will end in a Chelsea victory with both teams finding the back of the net.
Home win & Over 2.5

BARCA vs MALAGA:
A well drilled defensive team head for a baptism of fire at the Camp Nou. With Neymar back in the team, this could get Messi (pun intended) for Malaga.
Home win and Over 2.5

REAL MADRID vs REAL BETIS:
I know Real Madrid's season will ultimately end in crushing disappointment but I fully expect that lot to have an okay start to the season. They'll win this one; in spite of their coach.
Home win.

SEVILLA vs ATLETICO MADRID:
Sevilla ineffably started the season with a goalless draw -- something nigh on unthinkable as they're usually one of the most entertaining sides in Europe. Atletico earned a narrow victory last week, but its too early in the season to be negative. So I see an attacking game that'll produce a couple of goals at least.
Over 1.5

VALENCIA vs DEPORTIVO:
The midweek Champions League qualifier against Monaco distracted Valencia last weekend as the laboured to a miserable draw away at Rayo. Now that Champions league football has been secured for the season, they will start performing in La Liga.
Home win.

DORTMUND vs HERTHA BERLIN:
Jurggen kini? The home side are playing some swashbuckling football right now and any opponent must be pitied. Another Mikhitaryan inspired victory on the cards here.
Home win.

KUBAN vs CSKA MOSCOW:
CSKA's form reads: WWWWW from their last five league matches. For my accumulator's sake, I'll doublechance 'em.
X2

ACADEMICA vs SPORTIN LISBON:
In Teo Gutierrez and Islam Slimani, Sportin have an efficient, if unspectacular front line to fire them to victory at an Academica side that lost 0-4 to Setubal last week.
Away win.

CARPI vs INTERNAZIONALE: A newly promoted side that lost 2-5 to an average Sampdoria side will have their work cut out against (my) outsider tip for the crown. Its only a matter of how many Inter will score. AWAY WIN

For the audacious tip of the weekend (with 'big odd'), look no further than:
HERACLES vs TWENTE:
It has gone under the radar a bit, but Heracles are in outstanding form; scoring nine goals in their last two games and conceding once. With a Twente side in rotten form (6conceded in two games), I'll bet on a win for the home side.
Home win

HYPOCRISY (part1): IT COMES AROUND

Though politics isn't really my forte, it has firmly caught my fancy (take note Tekno) and I am currently learning the ropes. Soccer, on the other hand, is what I know an awful lot about. Apart from the actual footballing on the pitch, I derive immense pleasure from seeing young players surmount challenges to fulfill potential. Also I have a fetish for listening to football commentary and watching managers' press conferences. This is where the, mostly subliminal but sometimes direct scathing messages are sent to rivals -- this is where the battle begins. Football is a whole different ball game (pun intended) where the finances involved in the game is taken into account. Its a chimerical eldorado that is far removed from everyday happenings of those of us living in an alternate world.

Thankfully, if unfortunately, football shares some common traits with our world -- one of which is hypocrisy of major proportions. I wrote in the first prediction of the EPL season that Chelsea's defense needed revamping and my friend Mr Jose Mourinho listened to me. He's since made a couple of unsuccessful bids for Everton's John Stones. Everton and their gaffer (Roberto Martinez) refused those offers on the premise that they wanna keep the young defender. What caught my attention is Martinez's innuendo filled retort after a third bid was made:
     "...sometimes money can't buy everything and that is going to be a very strong statement at Everton"

An admirable position no doubt, but Martinez's stance has been one of self-absorption; a man trying to be a hero, to defy the system, to challenge the authoritarian arrogance of the elite. I think this rebellion just reeks of hypocrisy. In a series of statements that are part funny and part bewildering, he has decried that bigger sides with bigger resources and better chances of success swoop in and pick off the talents at lesser clubs -- while beautifully ignoring the fact that Mr Stones left little Barnsley and their modest resources/goals for a 'big' club i.e Everton.

This shii is a bloody cycle and while standing up to the system is applaudable, insinuating that the system wants to fuck you sideways is hypocrisy -- considering the fact that you (Everton) did the same to a smaller club (Barnsley). The little fish gets eaten by the big fish before an even bigger fish eats the 'big' fish. Shit goes around, but bear in mind that shit also comes around.

That is how the system works. That is why the system works.

--->>>Captaincue (I think he'll go to Chelsea before the window closes)

PREDICTIONS (22/23-08-2015)

Last week's report card: 87.5% success. We steady getting closer to that hallowed 100% mark. Hope this meets you people in rude health. Here goes:

MAN UNITED vs NEWCASTLE:
An underwhelming start to the season from the Magpies; having drawn one and lost one. They've made shiny, beautiful new signings that I'm sure will come good -- but they have an appalling record against this particular opposition. United (man) did most of their business earlier in the summer and I think this fact is lost on their disappointed fans after missing out on Pedro. That boy Depay will fire them to victory here.
Home win.

LEICESTER vs TOTTENHAM:
I was as surprised as the next person when Tottenham contrived to snatch a draw from the jaws of victory against Stoke -- I fully expected them to lose the game. What a shame. That said, Spurs seem to be getting out of their early season funk and playing a Leicester side who've had a blistering start, this game will produce a couple of goals. At least.
Over 1.5

PALACE vs VILLA:
See what I did with the headline?! Palace came through for me last week and I quite fancy a fame like this to give me two goals.
Over 1.5

HELLAS vs AS ROMA:
Roma have had a quietly decent summer. Keeping their best players and adding Salah and Dzeko to their ranks? Wow. They'll win this at a canter.
Away win.

LAZIO vs BOLOGNA:
The Roman side have a competitive headstart (CL qualifiers); so one would expect them o be head and shoulders ahead of their newly promoted opponents in terms of fitness and fluidity. When momentum collided with inertia, inertia will be hurt pretty bad.
Home win.

HANNOVER vs LEVERKUSEN:
Beautiful stadium? Check.
Big local fan base? Check.
Beautiful jerseys? Check.
Beautiful blind Aryan players? Check.
Leverkusen are the archetypal hipster club. Its a good thing they can play the game too.  A tight win last week will be followed by a convincing one this.
Away win.

ATL. MADRID vs LAS PALMAS:
Las-kinni? I hear you say. Atletico weren't by any means poor last season but they didn't reach the heady heights of their La Liga winning season of 2013. Call me crazy (don't), but I tip 'em to take the league from a complacent Barca side. It begins here.
Home win.

RAYO vs VALENCIA:
A comprehensive win over Monaco in the CL qualifier in midweek sets Valencia up nicely for this one. They now have their own sugar daddy and that money will see them have a big season.
Away win.

WEST BROM vs CHELSEA:
Already 5points behind City (I called it!), they're due a big performance to save them from an embarrassing start to the season. Chelsea will win this one. By hook or by crook.
Chelsea victory. By crook.

INGOLSTADT vs DORTMUND:
LOL.

INTERNAZIONALE vs ATALANTA:
Inter have done excellent business in the transfer market. They're due a big season. It begins with a comfortable win here.
Home win.

EVERTON vs MAN CITY:
My favourite EPL player (Aguero) is in mesmerizing form as displayed in the victory against Chelsea (I called it too!). With everyone bang in form, this City will take some stopping. Lukaku and Barkley will make it interesting, but City will come out victorious. I reckon we'll see lots of goals (City to win 4-2).Anyway...
Over 3.5goals.

GIJOÑ vs REAL MADRID:
I reckon things will go spectacularly wrong for Real this season -- like finishing third. I'll even bet Benitez won't be there at the end of the season -- but they'll start the season with a bang.
Away win.

ARSENAL vs LIVERPOOL:
This one pretty much writes itself.
Over 2.5 goals (all day long).

There's your lot. Good luck boys.
--->>>Captaincue

PREDICTIONS (15/16-08-2015)

Report card from last week's tips: 70% success rate. Not bad, but definitely not 'it'. Again, we mount these betting horses and attempt to run them into the ground. Here we go:

LEVERKUSEN vs HOFFENHEIM:
Hoffenheim have sold their one truly remarkable player to Liverpool and I think they'll struggle this season. Bayer had an excellent campaign last season and I'll bet big on them picking up where they left off.
Comprehensive home win.

VfL WOLFSBURG vs FRANKFURT:
Wolfsburg's best player, Kevin de Bruyne's future is uncertain. Apart from him though, they've done a fine job of keeping their core. I'd bet on a home win here, but its the opening weekend of the Bundesliga season. What would it cost to err on the side of caution ba? Exactly
1X

CRYSTAL PALACE vs ARSENAL:
Palace's fine campaign last season was fuelled mostly by confidence. This time around, they're not just high on confidence but high on quality as well. Cabaye??!! Wow.
I foresee a (2-1 win) for either side. Either ways, we'll get three goals.
Over 2.5

GUINGAMP vs LYON:
Lyon should win an award for their inconsistencies. I'm guessing they spoiled many a tipster's accumulator after last week's disappointing opening day draw with Lorient. A poor Guingamp side IS the perfect opportunity to start getting it right.
Lyon victory

MAN CITY vs CHELSEA:
One of my banker's last weekend was Chelsea conceding, and boy did they! There seems to be a general consensus that Chelsea can't be 5points behind City after two games; that Mourinho will find a way to NOT lose this game at the Etihad. Me? I'll be having a laugh.
Home win please!!

LIVERPOOL vs BOURNEMOUTH:
I know this is a Monday game, but you might wanna add this to your accumulator. The new boys will be overwhelmed.
Liverpool win.

DORTMUND vs GLADBACH:
Two sides who always, always give no quota. This match will be like football porn to the hipsters.
Over 2.5 goals

For the audacious tip of the weekend, look no further than the match at the WhiteHartLane:
TOTTENHAM vs STOKE CITY:
Stoke have brought in some slick attacking players but have failed to replace their midfield lynchpin: Steven Nzonzi. Both teams suffered one-nil losses on the opening weekend but this Spurs side, dare I say, is low on quality. The odds on offer for a Stoke win is above four points. Jump on it.
Stoke win.

Remember, these are only tips. Edit, espouse and delete as you wish.
May the odds forever be in our favour.

--->>>Captaincue

PREDICTIONS (08-09/08/2015)

A  77day recess that seemed like an eternity, has, like every holiday, come to an exciting end. Hands up if you're not excited by the return of the #EPL and the European footballing season. Just you? Now gerrarahia, you joyless prude. An awful lot has gone down behind the scenes -- your life, mine, players', managers' and everyone. I'm fairly certain not everyone that read my last betting tip in May is alive. For keeping us, and all other blessings, we unabashedly give God the glory.
To essence, I'm gonna start with a caveat: you may wish to know that betting/gambling is generally seen as immoral around these uber-religious shores, but gambling is a bloody multibillion dollar industry and I'm not about to sit on my hands and do nothing. That said, why not add value to the reader by writing tips that'll be at once entertaining, enlightening and educative? Exactly! So, be prepared to see tips that contain unconventional stuff like poems and stories. 'Nuff said, here you go:

MAN UNITED vs TOTTENHAM:
United have bought fantastically well in the market, but that's what was said last season too. They've brought in excellent midfielders, an exciting rightback and MD7. I'm a United fan myself and in no way am I blinded by bias when I say there's no way United are losing to Spurs. The jury is still out on all the teams this season and one can't make absolute calls just yet. So I'll doublechance the home team here.
1x

CHELSEA vs SWANSEA:
Chelsea put in some laboured performances in preseason and in the Community shield. Their riposte being that we'll see a firing Chelsea team when competitive football begins this weekend. Chelsea are the finest exponent of the art of throwing bodies in the ways of shots -- but that defense needs some serious refreshing -- thus, the interest in Stones. They won't keep a clean sheet. In games like this, I would bet on both teams finding the back of the net, but that's complicating stuff.
Over 1.5

NEWCASTLE vs SOUTHAMPTON:
"If an archer shoots just for fun, he has all his skill
If he shoots for score, his hands tremble and his breath is uneasy
If he shoots for a golden price, he becomes mad and blind
His skill was not lessened, but the vision of the target changed him."
                -->> Chinese proverb.

Two summers ago, Southampton sold a raft of key players and were generally expected to have a poor season last year. They didn't. I think they did well because no one expected big things from them and the pressure was off. It'd be intriguing to see how they cope when the pressure of matching last season's achievement is on them. I like the Chinese.
Over 1.5goals.

ARSENAL vs WEST HAM:
The boy Sanchez will sit this one out but I don't think he'll be missed. WestHam missed out on an Europa league place on Thursday by resting lots of key players -- a bad decision I think will bite their shiny new coach in the rear. Has he not heard of 'momentum'? I wonder.
Home win AND over 2.5goals.

STOKE vs LIVERPOOL:
Despite the glaring absence of a certain Steven Gerrard, Liverpool now seem to have a bigger (better? Dare I say) squad. On paper. Of course. After a 6-1 defeat at the Brittania in the last match of last season, Liverpool will be happy to leave with a point this time around. Goals abound.
Over 2.5 of them.

OGC NICE vs MONACO:
Gone are the superstars at the club from the principality. All that's left is a delicious blend of highly talented youngsters and experience. I can't resist a smoothie.
X2

PRESTON vs MIDDLESBROUGH:
Newly promoted Preston play host to a Boro side high on ambition and confidence after a surprise romantic reunion with Stewart Downing and building a good squad. I think Boro will be this season's Bournemouth. It begins here:
X2

NORWICH vs CRYSTAL PALACE;
BOURNEMOUTH vs ASTON VILLA:
I think these ones will be score-draws. So I'll just bet on both games to produce more than a lone goal -- just because its too early in the season to be wholly negative.
Over1.5

WEST BROM vs MAN CITY:
City (with Sterling) will look to have a blistering start to the season and West Brom are a solid if unspectacular side who'll give City a run for their money. Still, quality will shine through.
City to win 2-1.

Gentlemen, there's your lot for the weekend. Edit, espouse and delete as appropriate. Its good to be back.

Yours in tipster-y,
-->>Captaincue

OF OPINIONS: THE ASHLEY YOUNG EXAMPLE

Football has, since (Korea/Japan)2002, been a huge part of my life as it provides me ample amusement, endless entertainment and no little amount of interesting happenstances that are potential analogies for my writings. Also, I'm a tipster -- make of that what you will. For 13years, I've watched thousands of minutes of realtime football and hours of clips from football of yore. With the background provided above and those in my previous missives, you'd forgive my frequent referencing of footballing guff for stuff that's analogous to my writings. Football is what I know and as the Bavarians say; mia san mia. Indeed, we are. To essence, I am passionate about my opinions and my opinion is that Ashley Young of Man United is a pisspoor footballer. Don't try to convince me, I'm a reticent bastard.

My biggest fear at the beginning of my writing career was getting negative reviews for works. For a long while, I penned stuff and kept them in my room until my brother snooped around and read one of my short stories. He wasn't satisfied with the quality of writing, but he was pained about a character killed. Till today, he wants me to bring the dead character from the dead. A couple of months later, I started a blog and in my first post, I said I wasn't even the smartest person in my clique but I was gonna start publishing thoughts/writings anyways. It wasn't because I was/am a self-centered egomaniac, or that I was less afraid of getting negative reviews -- trust me, nothing gladdens me heart like wholly positive acclaim for me work -- I just chose to focus on the fact people actually formed opinions about my work.

As ever, I'll extrapolate a footballing analogy to provide some perspective. So, the victim/analogy today is my personal take on Ashley Young, a man that plays for the team I support and who I think very little of. He is a winger and far as I'm concerned, wingers should be creative, stylish, electric, skillful and eccentric. Mr Young has none of these traits. Instead, he receives the ball with an awkward control, turns to face his own half, holds the ball for far too long, invites pressure on himself, before inadvertently passing the ball backwards to his defender. When forced to attack, all Mr Young does is cut the ball onto his right foot and hook a high ball into the opposition area which the goalkeeper plucks out of the air 90times out of 100.

Such is my disregard for Mr Young's footballing (dis)abilities that I once blamed him for United's defeat before someone pointed out that he wasn't even in the match day squad. Lol. I'd rather see a younger player take his place and shank  crosses out for throw-ins. Now, when I see Mr Young curl the ball into the goalkeepers arms, I'm not even disappointed anymore. I don't even complain -- just because I don't expect anything footbalically good from the man. However, when someone I think is more technically gifted and has more inherent talent shanks a cross into the goalkeeper's arms, I get angry. I complain. Because I believe that person can do better.

That is how I see work and criticism. That is the perspective I think young people like me should have. Personally, I'm yet to choose a career, but when I do, I never want to be the Ashley Young of that profession -- whence people evaluate my work with varying levels of cursory disinterest. I want my work to provoke some sort of reaction. I want someone to say "this bastard is good" or some people to say they're terribly disappointed by my work. I never want to drift into that cesspit of mediocrity where people won't even be disappointed when I goof. I never want to be that writer that puts cross after cross into the goalkeeper's arms and the fans won't even be disappointed because they don't expect anything better from me. Rave reviews are greatest. Negative reviews will sting your ego, but if it has any merit, you'll be better for it. Negative reviews of extreme sort probably tells more about the reviewer than the reviewee.

More than anything though, If people think you're punching below your weight, take it as a compliment. Aspire to be more than you are. Be more than Ashley Young. Never become Ashley Young.

(...outside of the pitch, Mr Young is a terrific human being)

---CAPTAINCUE (...is a freelance writer taking on gigs for unridiculous money. Send me a direct message on Twitter @Captaincue or send me a mail with your writing needs at kaptaincue@gmail.com)

WHAT IS 'GOOD'!

Hello. At this rate, I might have to make this guy an admin on my blog. He has been prolific to say the least. Including this post, he now has three posts on MY blog; and the trio have been thought-provoking. Big ups to the Engineer.  For a recap of his previous missives, click here and there. For today's post, here you go:

"I don’t have a day job (that should not necessarily be translated as me being jobless). That probably explains why I spend every waking minute, and some sleeping minutes of my life thinking about random topics. Just the other day, I had a dream in which I was thinking about stuff that made me cry. I woke up and the tears just wouldn’t stop. So, I THINK I brood in my sleep too.


Now, having a lot of spare time in the day only partially explains why I think a lot because there are millions of jobless people everywhere who still never sit down to think about anything. The real reason will be that I am just Homo sapien personified. I like to fix every piece of any [figurative] jigsaw. Discrepancies between two recounts of the same event keep me awake all night. When timelines cross, I am always busy thinking. Mostly I am not looking for the lie alone; I am looking for the “why”. Why things happen… Again, I deviate.

In June, I had to embark on the same 8hours road trip four times in four days - coincidentally,  I am typing this in transit of the ilk. Not driving afforded me enough time to do what I do best: sleep think. The driver of the commercial vehicle on one of such journeys had an mp3 transmitter that kept doling out Naija “hip-hop” songs, mostly Olamide’s. I loved that. Then a point came when the music genre changed to Fuji. My music taste only excludes songs by Lady Gaga, so I had no problem with that. I even sang along in my mind. Then a co-passenger made a comment that means “where have you been hiding good music all this while?”  Now I had a problem with that statement. Who told him what good music is supposed to be? Who?!

As general as pretty and ugly can be – because I believe everybody agrees on who is pretty. It is the ugly ones that are up for debate – people still come up with a consolation sentences like “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” [“and the angle you are beholding from” as my lovely ever-recurrent ex girlfriend will put it]. If that applies to beauty (I believe if your beauty depends on who is looking, you are just not pretty – come sit with me), then music is an even more appropriate topic to apply that.

Ultimately, music is entertainment. Different people find different things entertaining. When a musician sings, he/she does so with the hope that someone somewhere finds it entertaining.  If you do, it means that you can relate to whatever message the song is sending; it doesn’t mean that people who don’t like it are doing anything wrong. A Yoruba adage translated to English will mean ”a mad person is fun to watch, not fun to birth”. I am not in cahoots with that. I don’t find mad people fun to watch one bit. But then, I don’t begrudge those who find madness funny their fun. I also have weird ways of catching fun too (like watching people die in SAN ANDREAS* - a classic comedy IMO).


Music has very broad genres. Even within the same genre, styles differ. I know Dare Art Alade, for instance, knows basic music. I know he knows the quavers, clefs, notes, scales and other music jargon, but I am not sorry that I don’t find what he sings as entertaining as Terry G’s. Lil Wayne just talks, I hear none of the Igbo Phyno spits, Baddo and Reminisce are razz, but their songs attend to my issues every day. Of course I listen to every other kind of song depending on my mood and what is obtainable. But then, I will not be caught dead singing Timi [Dakolo] or Simi’s praise. And don’t even get me started on Praiz. That don’t mean I’ll go about calling guys who love slow female songs (whatever they call that genre) fags - what I think of course is in my mind.

In essence, when BET or Grammy declares that someone won an award, the person won THAT award. After all, there is no standard as to what songs should be like. So whatever the organizers decide holds. Now if the Headies decide that Sean Tizzle had more votes than Burna Boy, the “elites” should welcome the idea instead of boring us with how the process is flawed. It’s not like it is not these razz music we [the local ones] and the elite alike groove to in the club.
It is not impossible that I will feel differently about the paragraph before this after right now. But the message today is that: what is music to you is crap to someone else, and quite rightly too. Live with that or kee yourself."
                     --->>>El-Jay ( @laycawn)

*I find it funny that with the number of people (who also have families) that lost their lives, the movie only focuses on a family's survival. Viewers are tricked into only really pitying that family, like the other lives are expendable.

BORING BOREDOM

There are many ways to spend free time – like staring at a wall, watching paint dry, write nonsense/something like this, start a blog, contemplate starting a blog, think about why people contemplate starting blogs, read about why people ever contemplate anything…or any other thing that doesn’t involve electrical power and cellular network (especially if you are in Africa) – which makes the alarming rate at which people complain of boredom sadly astounding. Thirty minutes without their (smart) phones makes youths (and dare I say some adults) of nowadays uneasy.

At this point, I have to make two things clear:
What I am going to end up writing about isn’t what I had in mind when I wrote the first sentence
Errr…I have forgotten what my second point is supposed to be. Moving on…
Smart phones, through the help of social media, are gradually grinding real life human interactions to a halt. I was on an ATM queue the other day – one of the many places where a serial flirt like me picks up targets, by creating weird EYE contacts – and everyone was busy on their phones, to my dismay. Some were smiling, some scowling, a few giggles. Then there was this particular dude who was typing at “breakfinger” speed; something I only do when the other party is trying to breakup with me – Yes, I broke up with the same ex several times-. Now I have to find even more sociopathic and creative ways to pick up targets.

Another increasing trend is the rate at which people text and drive. Ehen, now I remember what my second numbered point is supposed to be: I am in no way “innocent” of any of these vices.
So I sat under a tree close to a major road, observing the flow of traffic (another thing to do with your free time) some days ago and I discovered (not astonishingly) that every other young driver was doing something with their phones alongside driving. And the ones that were my ilk, (with a female ‘copilot’), had their passengers on their [passengers] phones too. Personally, I find long journeys boring if all I have to do is drive. So, I spice it up by dancing, chatting, or making videos. But in my defense, my co-commuters are usually focused on the road whenever I am not. And again, I believe local transit requires more concentration… I digress, not for the first time.

Ignore my verbiage. Verbose, they mostly are. The gist is, social media is eating deep into real social life. Our phones are taking over our lives. It is not uncommon to see people sending friend requests to dead people. That shows how shallow these friendships really are. Now we meet people online or by stealing their phone numbers off mutual friends’ phones (actually, that’s how I met my ex who I like to think I dated for five years!), BBM pins and what have you. We start casually. Initial niceties, mostly veneer. Then it gets religious; staying up so late it becomes early morning. Then a point comes when we run out of things to talk about, even the perverted ones.  The subsequent drifting apart is such an anticlimax, but it is not unexpected. I mean, there is only a few ways to rephrase questions that mean “what is your favorite sex position?”

There is a finite amount of topics you can chat about without seeing each other, not to talk of having mutual friends. And mutual friends are what keep relationship conversations going, IMO. Without them, what/who do/will we discuss? And all that while, there is a brother/sister somewhere, physically available, who we keep rolling with, only until the next exciting online prospect comes around. Sadly.
I don’t expect this piece to change anyone’s attitude towards their phones or the like. Verily, I don’t even expect many people to read this article. I’m just a guy who knows a guy who owns a blog. Hence, my pedantic rant. I am not even necessarily going to change how I use social media, as a result, so there is absolutely zero reason why you should.
Pizzout!

L.J

OPPORTUNITY COST

I had no illusions about my academic abilities. Or disabilities, if you will. I was a below average student in senior secondary. All the theoretical guff posed a semi-serious challenge to me; the challenge of assimilation and application of such knowledge to practical, everyday life. I didn't rightly understand the destructive distillation of coal. Or the vulcanization of rubber. Or the memorization of those phylums.
On the other hand, I liked the geography and technical drawing classes because their lessons were immediately tangible. Most of all, I really enjoyed the economics classes as those lessons immediately ensued in the real world. The concept of demand & supply, the concept of scale of preference, the concept of forgone alternatives -- I liked stuff like that. Though, I feel now, as I felt then, that the concept of hustling and making money ought to be one of the clear, main tenets of O'level economics -- but that's a topic for another day.

One of those economics lessons proved invaluable these past weeks. Amongst a shitload of competing demands (and limited time), I had to arrange competing priorities in order of their relative importance. My B.Sc special project that had stalled and threatened to derail the hustle was given undivided attention. Thankfully, I completed the work last week and got it signed. And approved. In a couple of months, I'll be able to sign off college and actually do something with my life. I am mighty relieved, gaskiya!

For the aficionados of this platform (if there are any), I'm sure you people must've been wondering where I went. E ma binu. I would have informed you of the recess earlier, but I prefer to talk about my bets after they come in (a bad trait I'm looking to cut out). Apologies.

I'm glad to see that birds are still sounding like birds and rats are still sounding like rats. (Yorùbá people will understand that line). Normal services have resumed from hereupon.
I thank you for your indulgence.

--->>>Captaincue (Ramadan Kareem)

GETTING MAD: The Social Media Way

I dropped my phone some time ago and the screen, while still intact, started deflecting commands. I would touch the Instagram icon at the bottom of the home screen and the phone would open the BBM app at the top Northwestern corner of my screen. I scrounged around for money and got told I'd have to wait some 48hours to get my screen replaced & the phone repaired. Those hours were particularly dreadful and I asked myself what the hell we did before these phones and these applications. Rid of my phone, it was as though my life had come to a standstill -- as I knew it.

Social media is aptly defined as: "..forms of media that allow users to interact with and publish to each other, generally by means of the internet"

By virtue of huge technological advancement some time in the 21st century, innovations have been made that have since served as alternate means of communication/dissemination of information/publishing/conduction of business AND interaction. As such, a substantial part of our daily lives are influenced (controlled) by happenings on these media, regardless of one's level of Luddism. I don't suppose office memos are as popular as they once was. These days, workers will get mails online. Broadcasts are sent online. Events are promoted (mostly) online. Announcements are made online & debates are made online. There are 83.3 million Internet users in Nigeria according to the NCC.

As with most things, there are facets to our social media. The human part of it all. The emotional part, specifically the 'anger' aspect of social media. Here are the ways of getting mad on these media:

1. STAY IGNORANT:
Don't read up on stuff, don't even bother to stay informed. Just follow click-baiting links with unverified news sources (and stories with no quotes) and believe every line. Then feel sick to your stomach, and recruit people to join in your sickedness by tweeting/facebooking the link. Just stay out of the know.

2. ISOLATION OF POINTS
Is there something you can be enraged about? Find it. Highlight it. Take it out of context and tweet, preferably with 'big, big grammar'

3. SELECTIVE MUTISM
As assorted as this sounds, it is not a medical condition. It is a way of unlooking pertinent stuff that could disprove your angst-filled narrative
OR
It could also mean you have a particular stance on an issue but can't voice it because you're afraid of victimization.

4. BEING CULTURED AND STUFF
To maintain your social media profile of an "educated person full of conviviality", when someone destructively critiques your work/view/stance & insults your person to boot, just laugh it off (LOL) and give a civil response -- ending the retort with; "..well, its only your opinion and we agree to disagree".
Deep down, in private, you're simmering and you know you want to decapitate a motherfucker.

5. FIND a social media personality you use as a barometer of correctitude AT ALL TIMES and align yourself with that fellow's train of thoughts. Because, em, well, because that fellow comes across as an educated & reasonable person, so that when your opinion and that of that fellow differs, you shut yours down, keep mum & echo the sentiments of that fellow.
Because, um, well....because you're uneducated yourself...

6. RECOGNITION OF THE TRUTH
In fairness to point5, some people are freakishly conversant with everything. Do not appreciate that.

7. GIVE IN TO POPULISM
Espouse the essence of the tweet/post with the most clicks/shares/retweets/favs...
Because, well, because its the popular opinion. Be afraid of examining a trend because you don't want to acknowledge that the popular opinion might be the wrong opinion. Listen to that girl that says on Nairaland that she can't cook for her boyfriend because she's not yet his wife. Take such advice and remain blind to the fact that she wrote that post while sweating in the aforementioned boyfriend's kitchen -- waiting for the yam to boil so she can pound...

8. BE MISERABLE... and without perspective. As a boy ba? Tell yourself you must make a move on a new girl that comes into your room JUST because you read on Twitter that 'bad, sharp guys' score all the time. Do not consider it in your calculations that even the greatest one of us, Mr Barney Stinson, didn't score all the time.

9. HAVE very little going for you in the real world (outside of social media). Make these apps your only source of entertainment and amusement and happiness. Just download porn, and fail to have real time sex. Or make lots of money on a virtual gaming platform and have zero account balance in real time. Have a reputation for being a player in a 2go room while you can't speak to women in the real world.

10. COMPARISON
View Instagram photos of a secondary school mate eating Lobsters and drinking Chardonnay in an expensive restaurant somewhere in America, try to load the next photo and get a text that your 10mb daily data plan has finished. Then put down your phone, add some more groundnut into the cup in front of you and cry into your cup of Garri.
Be hard on yourself because you don't look like the girl in the magazine and fail to see that even the girl in the magazine doesn't look like the girl in the magazine.

11. The last, and by some distance, the best way of getting mad on social media; LET THE WORLD DEFINE EVERYTHING FOR YOU.
Just because another half-naked Rihanna picture is captioned by GQ as "Rihanna looking STYLISH as she poses braless in a sheer gown for a photoshoot with..." doesn't mean its 'stylish'.
Ask yourself, is this stylish?
I'm sure you get the drift.

(11.5) Give irrational credence to every post you find on the internet. Like this one.

If at this point in this post, you're thinking of changing your social media ways by virtue of my admonishments in this post (without further scrutiny), we have both wasted each other's time.

--->>>Captaincue (Thank God for social media. How else would I post this...!)

WEEKEND BETTING TIPS (23/24-05-2015)

Melancholy is the overriding emotion as I pen this post; the last one I'll post in the European season. Gambling (wisely) is always fun and I've had fun writing these tips while this season has lasted. I know its not my place, but if I may offer you a piece of advice to ponder until August when the European footballing season will resume, it is this: The best bet you'll ever make in life is the one you take on yourself. Believe.

That said, I nailed 17 of the 20 tips I wrote last week. 85% looks okay on paper, but its still not IT. Still, here you go:

JUVENTUS vs NAPOLI:
Juve came through for me last week, and I'll make that same prediction here. This is one of those games.
Over 1.5goals

BAYERN MUNICH vs MAINZ:
Bayern were deservedly beaten last time out and I honestly can't say I did not see it coming. I just went against my instinct and failed to control my greed. Won't be betting on a win in this one.
Over 1.5goals

COLOGNE vs WOLFSBURG:
With the German cup final on the horizon, Wolfsburg will want to keep their momentum by playing their best in this 'warmup' game. I see nought but an away win

ARSENAL vs WEST BROM:
Arsenal have drawn 3 of their last five games, scoring once (own goal). Its safe to say their attackers are tired, but with the FA Cup game in mind, they'll have to get into goalscoring form. Against a side that beat Chelsea 3-0 last time out? Goals abound.
Over 2.5goals.

DORTMUND vs BREMEN:
Last league game at home for Jurggen Klopp and it'll be an emotional something. He'll want his last league game to be one of swashbuckling attacking football and these games usually produce more than one goal.
Over 1.5goals

MAN CITY vs SOUTHAMPTON:
City scored four last week. Southampton scored six. I would predict a lot of goals but I hear tell these two might field some of their reserves. That will hamper the fluidity of the game. So:
Over 2.5goals

MARSEILLE vs BASTIA:
Bastia will ply their trade in Ligue 1 next season after last week's draw. Marseille are back in form though.
Home win.

STOKE CITY vs LIVERPOOL:
If this game wasn't in my accumulator, I'd stake big on a Liverpool win. As it is though, I'll err on the side of caution and play over 1.5goals.

PSG vs REIMS:
Lol.

ALMERIA vs VALENCIA:
Almeria are not safe yet. Valencia could yet nick the last Champions league place. This will be a ridiculously open game.
Over 1.5goals.

HULL CITY vs MAN UNITED:
United are a curious team aren't they? You never know what you might get from them. Still, looking at the track record of their season-closing games, they are usually high scoring encounters. Especially when their opponents are in danger of being relegated. I remember that 4:2 win that sent Blackpool to the Championship and I think this will be a result like that.
Over 2.5

BARCELONA vs DEPORTIVO:
Straight win for the home team because they're Barca. Deportivo's perilous standing notwithstanding.

GRANADA vs ATL. MADRID:
One way or another, I'll get my two goals.
Over 1.5

GENOA vs INTERNAZIONALE:
Inter win? I doubt it. More than a lone goal? I'll bet on it.
Over 1.5 goals.

That's your lot for the season. It has been a pleasure.
P.S: I still blog regularly at this address o. Its only the 'weekend betting tip' section of my blog that will take a recess until August.
Thank you

Yours in tipster-y;
Captaincue

WITHOUT A SILVER SPOON

SUMMARY

WITHOUT A SILVER SPOON is a 1981 short novel by Eddie Iroh that tells the tale of a 10year old boy; Ure Chokwe and his struggle to further his education in the face of unseemly (mostly financial) vicissitudes.

PLOT
Ure Chokwe, whose brother inadvertently had to drop out of school to work as an apprentice in a faraway location due to financial constraints, faces similar fate when he's chased out of his classroom for failure to pay his fees.

Brilliant and industrious boy that he was, he intimated an idea to his parents about how his fees would be taken care of if he stayed with a teacher and worked as a houseboy.

Things went on smoothly until he was hit with a double barreled accusation of thievery. The book narrates how he juggled his academic pursuits with his honest streak, high expectations and life's many challenges.

MY VERDICT
WITHOUT A SILVER SPOON was one of the books we read in Junior secondary and the book caught my eyes when I saw it at the State library a week ago. Unfortunately, I have, for a long time, had a not so brief dalliance with an abject lack of finance and one would imagine the author had, at some point in his life, experienced these things first hand. The book is uber-realistic on this front. Kudos.

The main theme of the book is that 'honesty is the best policy'. Of course it is. Unless, of course, you're especially good at lying and mixing things up a bit in order to achieve your goals. But this is a book for preteens and teenagers and we wouldn't want to corrupt that lot would we? Honesty is the best policy kids!

I found aspects of the book really funny; particularly the part where the protagonist, Ure Chokwe intimated to his dad that he wanted to work as a servant in order to pay his tuition.

 
"Ure?"

"Sir?"

"Do you want to kill me before my time...?"

Lol. Typical!

In little more than a hundred pages, Mr Eddie Iroh expertly discussed unscrupulous elements (Erugo Iyama), dogged determination, resolute and unyielding challenges, ideals parents want their kids to live up to, people running the rule over other people, the curious dichotomy of good and evil, triumph of good over evil and the sweet, sweet taste of eventual victory for the hustler. I like this book.

This is to hoping our kids are born with silver spoons and all manner of assorted cutlery.

MY RATING
On a scale of very good to fucking abject, this is an enjoyable read.

 (poverty wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for lack of finance)

---CAPTAINCUE (...is a freelance writer taking on gigs for unridiculous money. Send me a direct message on Twitter @Captaincue or send me a mail with your writing needs at kaptaincue@gmail.com)

WEEKEND BETTING TIPS (16-17/05/2015)

Hi all. Its another hot weekend over here. Last time out, 10 of the 15 tips I made came through, which works out at a paltry 66.7% success rate. Close, but no cigar. The European footballing season is winding up to a close and we all hope to make one last significant sum off of those bastards. Good luck this weekend.

INTERNAZIONALE vs JUVENTUS:
Wow. You can't see me but I'm slowly hand clapping. Juve were gallant against a rampant Madrid side in midweek. They absolutely ran their socks off and with the Serie A title already in the bag, Mr Allegri will rotate heavily against an Inter side just starting to find some form.
Over 1.5

LEVERKUSEN vs HOFFENHEIM:
A humbling 3-0 defeat in 'Gladbach last week has brought 'em back to ground. Still, I think they'll have too much quality for their visitors.
1X

AS MONACO vs METZ:
An unlucky loss to an unpredictable Marseille outfit at the Velodrome last week. They'll make a mess of Metz (I couldn't help it)
Monaco win

LILLE vs MARSEILLE:
A potentially tricky call for a tipster. Both teams are still in with a chance of making European competitions next season. They (both) might decide to shut up shop and nick a winner on the counter a-la Mourinho. But I don't think that will be the case. I see an open game
Over 2.5

MONTPELLIER vs PSG:
We all know who's gonna win this one, the only thing up for debate is by how many goals!
Away win

FREIBURG vs BAYERN:
The futile victory over Barcelona somewhat overshadowed one of the more beautiful you'll ever see (Lewandoski's). Look at that footwork. Not enough quality to beat Barca, but their quality will suffice in beating Freiburg. I think.
Away win

GETAFE vs EIBAR:
Both teams are in terrible form, losing their last five matches respectively. If the odds were on offer, I'd bet on something like this:
Both teams to lose.

BURNLEY vs STOKE:
That's it then? Burnley have been relegated. It was fun while it lasted. They nicked a consolatory victory at Hull last week but I think Stoke will be too big a task for them.
X2

SEVILLA vs ALMERIA:
Over 1.5 goals. Sure banker. All season long.

TOTTENHAM vs HULL:
Drop points at WHL and Hull will be relegated. They have no option than to attack. This will be an open game; with both teams having lots to prove.
Over 1.5

LIVERPOOL vs PALACE:
Palace put the final nail in the coffin of Liverpool's title bid last season. Both teams have nothing to prove here and will likely go for each other's jugular. A special mention must go to a special player who will play his last home game for Liverpool. I hated how he smeared the camera at Old Trafford when he equalized in THAT game, but that doesn't smear his legacy at Liverpool. Tremendous player. All hail Stevie G.
Over 1.5

DORDRECHT vs AJAX:
Last weekend, Ajax players came out of the dressing room with their mothers to commemorate Mother's day. Such has never happened on Father's day. Is there even a father's day? The world is unfair.
Ajax win.

ATL. MADRID vs BARCELONA:
Would you bet against this Barcelona side on their current form? I didn't think so.
Away win.

ANDERLECHT vs ST. LIEGE:
Fierce competition between these two Belgian giants. The easiest over 1.5goals you'll ever see.

AS ROMA vs UDINESE:
A disappointing end to a season that promised so much at the start. The capital side won't lose this.
1X

SWANSEA vs MAN CITY:
Two sides in good form. I'll err on the side of caution and go for over 1.5goals.

MAN UNITED vs ARSENAL:
Its high time both sides served us a classic game with lots of goals.
Over 2.5goals.

WOLFSBURG vs DORTMUND:
Another goal fest.
Over 2.5

ESPANYOL vs REAL MADRID:
Ancelloti doesn't rotate his squad nearly enough and Madrid are tired. This one might swing either way and I see another end of season goal fest.
Over 2.5

WERDER BREMEN vs GLADBACH:
the surprise package of the Bundesliga season. No one is defeating them this season.
X2

That, dear friends, is that. Best wishes.
--->>>Captaincue

WEEKEND BETTING TIPS (09-10/05/2015)

A fortnight ago, it was 66.7%. A week ago (week ago! *defenestrates cap & does the shmoney dance*), it was 69.2%. Not quite there, but baby steps ba? Thanks for your patronage. This weekend, we're gonna hope for better luck. Here goes:

EVERTON vs SUNDERLAND:
Everton got beat by Aston Villa last time out. They'll want to get back to winning ways ASAP. Sunderland are deep in relegation quagmire and they're not gonna make it out by sitting back to defend. Will be an enthralling contest.
Over 1.5

ASTON VILLA vs WEST HAM:
Mr Lerner swapped Mr Lambert for Mr Sherwood; what an inspired decision that has turned out to be. Delph is buckling swashes, Benteke is scoring and (even) Cleverley is looking all kinds of decent. Who would've thunk! Villa will look to put some daylight between themselves and the bottom three. Here's a good place to start.
1X

HULL CITY (TIGERS) vs BURNLEY:
Hull City. The paragon of inconsistency. Victory over Liverpool followed by a limp defeat to Arsenal. That said, Burnley have lost their last four games. That is terrible. Both teams are in this precarious situation because they don't know shit about defending. Goals? You bet.
Over 1.5

PARMA vs NAPOLI:
One has to feel for Parma. They're on the brink of bankruptcy and have lost their last two games by an eye-watering eight goal margin. Napoli will stuff them.
Away win

FC ZURICH vs FC BASEL:
Basel are a reliable team. They won't lose, mark my words.
2X

LEVANTE vs ATLETICO MADRID:
Atleti will be foaming at the mouth after being robbed of victory at Bilbao. A lethargic performance in last week's 0-3 defeat to David Moyes has undone all the recent good work of Levante. I'm gonna bet against you should you lose to Mr Moyes.
An ugly away win.

BARCELONA vs REAL SOCEIDAD:
Speaking of David Moyes, the man is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. You remember he engineered a 1-0 in the return leg earlier in the season? I do. That notwithstanding, Barca are absolutely imperious right now.
Home win.

CELTA VIGO vs SEVILLA FC:
The last three games involving Sevilla have yielded 11goals. And we know Celta aren't exactly goal shy. Makes this call a no-brainer really.
Over 1.5

MARSEILLE vs MONACO:
Read 'Celta vs Sevilla' above.
Over 1.5

ZENIT St PETERSBURG vs ROSTOV:
Lol. You must be wondering why I include the Swiss and Russian leagues. Well, the English championship and Dutch Eredivisie are done. A tipster has to improvise.
Really, Zenit never lose. They just draw most of their matches. The trend won't stop now.
1X

REAL MADRID vs VALENCIA:
Ignoring Madrid's defeat to the Old Lady in midweek, their form in the league reads something like WWWWWW... I trust Madrid to rise up to the occasion. And I'll back that assertion up with a bet.
Home win.

LAZIO vs INTERNAZIONALE:
Lazio haven't been their usual  all-conquering selves in recent weeks and Inter could still finish in Europa league places by winning games like these.
Over 1.5

CHELSEA vs LIVERPOOL:
I wrote an article on Chelsea's triumph. They're plucky bastards, but I think this will be an open match with both teams having nothing to lose. One of these sides(Liverpool) have a lot to gain. They'll attack, attack and attack. Chelsea will counter. Goals will be scored.
Over 2.5

GLADBACH vs LEVERKUSEN:
Over 1.5 goals thank you very much.

MAN CITY vs QPR:
QPR could yet stay in the league, which is why they'll go all out in this fixture. Plus, City would want to finish a tough season with a flourish.
Over 2.5 goals.

That's your lot for the weekend. Best of luck boys.

Yours in tipster-y:
Captaincue

TRIBUTE TO CHELSEA

With the European football season drifting to an excitant end, there are numerous narratives from which one can choose to write a blog post from. At the lower end of league tables, clubs are fighting to stave off relegation and stay in the league. The nondescript mid table clubs are trying not to join the relegation mire and the overachieving mid table clubs are trying to break the stranglehold the 'top,top' teams have on the upper end of the table. As usual, most of the titles in the major leagues gave been decided (Germany, Holland...), save for France and Spain. As the most viewed league in the world, the EPL has a winner too. CHELSEA FOOTBALL CLUB.

They won this at a canter and with some three matches to spare. In the spirit of true sportsmanship, one must congratulate the winner -- then plot how to depose the champions and mount a serious challenge the following season. As a Man United supporter, I've reconciled myself with the fact that things aren't gonna be rosy for a while following Sir Alex's retirement. On social media, where everything goes on these days, the overriding emotion that greeted Chelsea's triumph was one of indignation.

What better way to recognize a good writer than to write about the zeitgeist. So, I'm gonna write a 6-pronged article about it. Here goes:

FACT: 

Chelsea F.C are 2014/2015 champions of the top division in English football.

AFTER THE FACT: 

Chelsea were top of the table since week2. That brought an air of inevitability to their eventual triumph. I think that leached away the excitement for most English club-football fans. No final day histrionics. No last minute 'Aguerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrro' moment. No nothing. Just a ridiculously ruthless side bypassing a non-existent and pitiable challenge by supposed rivals coasting to victory.

Chelsea are quite an excellent side, one just has to look at the array of talents in their ranks. Two world class goalkeepers, an excellent defence -- and Ivanovic; a central midfield pairing of Matic and Fabregas, the belligerent person & ruthless goalscoring talent of the bellicose Diego Costa. And the imperious Eden Hazard. All these are managed by a controversial contrarian, who, when viewed objectively, is an excellent coach -- just look at his track record.

PERCEPTION: 

There is a widely accepted notion that Chelsea play the game we all love largely defensively & set up to play on the counter; which is a footballing term that defines a seemingly dour and unadventurous style of play that favours strict & unyielding defensive solidity rather than an expansive, attacking & swashbuckling modus operandi. 

DETRACTORS:

Detractors have their reasons for nay saying. Always! I think their gripe stems from the fact that Chelsea were not this big until they were bankrolled by a certain Russian oligarch whose wealth has transformed Chelsea FC to a footballing juggernaut in the past decade and a half.

Also, fingers ave been pointed at Chelsea not playing football the 'right' way. The right way we've been told to death, is the pass, run into space, receive the return pass and form asymmetrical triangles until there are holes to explore in your opponents defense.  They say Chelsea often favour neutralizing their opponents at the detriment of showcasing their inherent attacking skills (which is not false).

UNEMOTIONAL OPINION:

In club football, the ultimate aim is victory. You become victors by winning football matches. To win a football match, you have to put the ball in the net of your opposition and prevent them from doing the same to your own goal. There are 20clubs in the EPL -- which incites every team play 19games at home and 19away; 38games a season. The team that has the most points at the end of the season is crowned champion. This much is a given.

Over the course of a 10month season, some factors will come into play. Injury to playing staff, incorrect refereeing decisions, player motivation levels, purple patches, dry patches, loss of form and a lot of other tangible/intangible variables. These variables affect your point tally directly/indirectly. However, two things you don't get additional points for are aesthetics and style.
Chelsea have been pilloried for a lack of style. Admittedly, a sane football fan is wont to marvel at the magnificence of beautifully-worked team goals. Jack Wilshere at Norwich AND Alan Smith against AS Roma at Old Trafford spring to mind. These are goals scored at the back end of beautiful interplay between several players. They are beautiful goals, but only 'just' goals nonetheless. No matter the number of passes building up to a goal, its still just one goal in the end. It counts for the same as a scrappy one that emanates from a goalmouth scramble or a heavily deflected strike or a set-piece strike. Or one scored from a Rory Delap throw-in. A goal is a goal. Now, some sides score these beauties more regularly than others (Barcelona). Some sides like to think they score these beauties all the time (Arsenal) while some score them on occasion (Chelsea).

Chelsea have been known to 'park the bus' -- which is an euphemism for sitting back and focusing all energies on not losing-- while hoping to capitalize on an inevitable mistake from your ball hogging opponents. Some people are offended by this style of play. They think Mr Mourinho's (and Chelsea's) style of football is particularly odious. When all is said and done though, winning is most of what matters. Intangible stuff like style and 'how' are secondary. As i posited during a bar-room argument on indecision, not making a decision, is, frankly, a decision. Chelsea's alleged lack of style IS a style. And it works. That's why they're champions.

Attacking is (the glamorous) part of football -- but defending is just as important. A great combination of the two makes quite an enjoyable team to watch (Juventus post-calciopoli). Attacking with reckless abandon while neglecting the defending aspect will get you relegated a-la Blackpool 2010/2011. Defending your goal for 90minutes will see you gain 38points in a league season AND probably get relegated. Goals win matches.
So a dexterous combination of attacking and defending will see you triumph. If your attacking/defending ratio is a 50/50 that balances on the defending side (a-la Chelsea), then, good grief. It works too!

MORAL OF THE STORY:
As ever, one must extrapolate the lessons to real life. Would I, Captaincue, say no to a generous sponsor (sugar mummy) who comes into my life on completion of my degree programme and offers to pay for my tuition at Harvard, decline such offer in favour of 'working for it'? You see, we all get a stroke of luck sometimes. There will always be those that think we're unworthy of such luck. Dare we, out of the outpouring of disdain for our sudden elevation, stop, apologize and give back that which has been magnanimously offered us? To have peoples validations over how we nobly 'hustle for it'? I'd rather think not.

There will always be those that oppose your way of doing things.They'll think your pragmatism is joyless and unenjoyable. They'll tell you the 'IDEAL' way to do it. They'll tell you you've achieved YOUR aim devoid of flair and panache. They'll sneer when you walk by. They'll sing 'boring,boring Chelsea' when you achieve your goal -- just because you didn't put on a spectacle. They'll say you should have been more grandiose (considering the assets at your disposal). More fun. More spontaneous. They'll even posit that history wont be kind to you because you didn't do it the 'right' way.

My mindset, which i hope more Nigerians have, is that, in achieving your set goals, you're gonna have to take some tough and unpopular decisions (defend like mad Chelsea); which will offend the sensibilities of Gooners purists. Purists who will point out that you wouldn't have done it if there had been more credible opponents. Well, my Uncle would be my Aunt if he had a vagina. But he doesn't, and things couldn't possibly be otherwise.

While you're basking in adulations and congratulations, they will paradoxically ask why all the furore and celebrations; "IS IT BECAUSE THEY ARE CHAMPIONS".
Just listen to the rhetoric.

--->>>Captaincue (I don't like Chelsea)

WEEKEND BETTING TIPS (02-03/05/2015)

66.7%. That's a B+ grade in school. In this thing of ours, its just a dreadful result. I had 66.7% success in last week's tips. We'll set things right this weekend. Here you go boys:

BLACKBURN vs IPSWICH:
With a combined 30goals in matches featuring these two sides over the past four weeks, it works out at 3.5goals a game. But they're championship sides, so I'm betting big on:
Over 1.5goals

DERBY vs READING:
Derby have been all kinds of inconsistent lately; what with the three draws and two (excellent) wins in their last five. However, Reading are woefully out of form
1X AND Over 1.5goals

MAN UNITED vs WEST BROM:
Two losses on the spin, the last of which cast aspersions on my pedigree as a blooming tipster. United messed up! With doubts over Michael Carrick's inclusion, they'll have their work cut out against a rejuvenated Albion side.
Over 1.5goals

ASTON VILLA vs EVERTON:
It has to be said, Everton were excellent against a naive Man United the other week; catching their visitors on the counter. Aston Villa know that they MUST score goals and earn points to fight off relegation. Over 1.5goals? That goes without saying really.

VfL WOLFSBURG vs HANNOVER:
After losing to 'Gladbach at the weekend, Wolfsburg bounced back emphatically with a scintillating 4-0 drubbing of Bielefeld in the German cup. Do I see a repeat? Yes. Am I putting my money on it? No.
1X

VALENCIA vs EIBAR:
They've been a bit wobbly in recent weeks, but Valencia can't mess this up. Not gonna happen
Home win

INTERNAZIONALE vs CHIEVO:
Roberto Mancini is on to something at the Milan club, I tells you. Clearly, they're not the finished article yet, but they're getting there. So I'll confidently doublechance his side.
1X

LYON vs EVIAN:
Optimists are backing Lyon to win the league. Realists, like myself, are sure PSG will win the thing. I'm uber confident they'll make light work of Evian, which is betting speak for "doublechance them"
1X

NAPOLI vs AC MILAN:
I really, really, really like Brock Lesnar. His mean streak, his agility, his speed, his strength, his mobility, his sheer arrogance. What I love most about him is that he left the WWE (which is mostly a scripted entertainment) to pursue a career in the bloody real UFC. He became world champion there. Upon his return to the WWE, he ended The Undertaker's streak at Wrestlemania. When questioned about his prospects of defeating John Cena at Royal Rumble, he quipped: "I just beat The Undertaker. ITS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE people, why wouldn't I beat John Cena!!"

Apologies for the tale, I just wanna use that phrase. When Napoli/ACMilan are not scoring plenty of goals, they're conceding 'em. Its not rocket science people!
Over 1.5, and that's a sure banker.

CORDOBA vs BARCELONA:
Cordoba are ripe for relegation. Paradoxically however, they do not concede that many goals and peeps might be surprised to find that Barcelona will field a second string side; with eyes firmly on their Champions League semifinal in midweek. I see an upset on the cards.
Tip: I'll just watch the over bloated 'fight of the century'

NANTES vs PSG:
I felt sorry for my compatriot, Vincent Enyeama last weekend as PSG put six past him. They followed that up with a 3-1 victory. I think this one writes itself really.
PSG win AND Over 2.5goals

NORWICH vs FULHAM:
Upon arduous research, I'll keep this one simple.
Over 1.5 goals. No questions asked.

AS ROMA vs GENOA:
Goals. They've made me 17k in the past month. A thousand short of Nigeria's minimum wage. I don't even have to care about who wins.
Over 1.5

SAMPDORIA vs JUVENTUS:
I love these games. Bet on an 'over 1.5', watch the bet come through before halftime and enjoy the rest of the game.

TOTTENHAM vs MAN CITY:
At the lane, Tottenham always, always make it happen against the top teams. I don't care who wins, but I'm pretty positive we'll see a few goals.
Over 2.5goals

That's it. As always, remember these are nought but tips for your consideration. Edit, delete and espouse as deemed fit.
Best of luck people.

Yours in tipster-y,
Captaincue

IN MY OPINION

I have an opinion about everything: Wizkid or Davido, Racism, Homophobia, Ronaldo or Messi, The Oba of Lagos and the Igbos…but I rarely voice my opinion about anything. Well, unless it has to do with my ex-girlfriend (bless her soul. And face. And body. And…) that very pretty adorable bastard! Anyway, I digress.

I think the fact that anybody can justify whatever nonsense they say with “in my opinion” is just wrong, in my opinion (no pun intended, dishonestly). Everyone can have an independent view on any subject, true. But there should be a limit to the range of subjects to which people share those views.
As an Arsenal FC fan, I’ve seen the fickleness of football fans. I have heard people who know nothing about football, question team selection, tactics (or supposed lack of it), substitutions and transfer policies. If you ask me, Adebayor was very good, Eduardo Da Silva shouldn’t have been sold, RvP should have been allowed to rot on the bench…and the list goes on.

But nobody is asking me. That’s because my opinion doesn’t count. And that’s what everyone should always bear in mind.
It is acceptable if Nigerians voice their opinions about Nigeria, no matter how absurd – even if no one is really listening to them. My mechanic can make a suggestion about my car. But that’s all it will be – a suggestion. It is not out of place to voice your opinion in your family, although you should know no one really has to pay attention if you don’t contribute substantially to the GDP of your household.
But when people invest millions of pounds in a business venture – which is what media outlets, football clubs, religious institutions (dare I say), schools and the likes, quite frankly, are – you don’t expect anyone to listen to what you have to say. In that case, why bother to talk? Why??

My two cents (even if you didn’t ask for it - hypocritical, I know); if you don’t like something that doesn’t belong to you, look the other way. Find something you can live with. Again, if you, as an Arsenal fan, think Jose Mourinho is a better tactical manager, and if you really love tactics that much, simply support Chelsea. Same applies to every other facet of life. No one says you have to like “spoilt” kids like Davido. Rae Sremmurd doesn’t need your opinion on how to spend the money you didn’t help him make. I love Terry G, my ex thinks he makes noise. We coexisted…at least for a while. Again, I digress.

It is in human nature to not agree on everything. There will always be people who think otherwise. Those who think MJ was whack. Those who think people should sleep in the day and work at night. Those (of us) who think gay marriages shouldn’t even be up for discussion (Eeeww!!!).  But these people, myself inclusive, can apply what they think into their lives. And shove the rest, gently, very nicely, up their ass.

Do what you enjoy, as long as you are not hurting others. Be with who you like. Eat what you like. And stop disturbing the rest of us with your opinion. That, is my opinion.                    
--->>>L.J

WEEKEND BETTING TIPS (25/26-04-2015)

New weekend, new style. I think I should provide a report card of how the previous weekend's decision panned out. A fortnight ago, we had a 96% success. Last weekend, it dropped to 84.6%. All in the upper percentile but anything short of 100% is not good enough for me. That said, here you go:

BRIGHTON vs WATFORD
I rarely go into the lower echelons of these football leagues for my predictions just because they are woefully unpredictable. I feel good about this one though. Brighton have been dropping points left, right & center -- losing four of their last five; as against four victories and one draw for their visitors.
X2

SEVILLA vs RAYO VALLECANO:
They're really good, aren't they? Sevilla came back from the dead to draw Zenit in the Europa league on Thursday. That said, they'll have their work cut out against a Rayo side that have picked up 9points from the last 15. Still,...
1X, and that's a banker

BURNLEY vs LEICESTER:
Burnley keep it tight at the back as evidenced by consecutive one nil defeats. Leicester have three wins on the spin and are scoring goals for fun. Better safe than sorry.
Over 1.5

ATLETICO MADRID vs ELCHE:
Deservedly beaten in midweek, Atletico will be foaming at the mouth & will want to show they still have it.
Home win

UDINESE vs AC MILAN:
A fairly if unspectacular side. AC Milan have been decidedly underwhelming this season. Its almost painful to watch. Still, there's no way in hell they're losing this.
X2

CRYSTAL PALACE vs HULL CITY
Two sides who don't bother defending.
Over 1.5 goals please.

PEC ZWOLLE vs AJAX
The league is done and dusted. But Ajax still have their pride to play for. Which is why I'm doublechancing them
X2

DORTMUND vs FRANKFURT
Consecutive defeats to Gladbach and Munich was followed by an unconvincing 3-0 win against Paderborn last weekend. Defending is not Frankfurt's strong suit however. Need I write my prediction?
Yes.
Over 2.5

ESPANYOL vs BARCELONA
Barca have won 5 of the last 6 against their city rivals, drawing the other one. This will be another embarrassingly easy pasting.
Straightforward away win.

BAYERN MUNICH vs HERTHA BERLIN
Just to boost the accumulator, I'll include a home win.
Bayern victory

PSG vs LILLE
For shizzle, my nizzle, like dizzle...this will be a defeat for PSG-zzle. That was my best impression of Snoop Dogg and I don't think I have a career in hip hop. I should probably complete this degree program...
Actually, I take back that prediction. Over 1.5goals surely.

EVERTON vs MANCHESTER UNITED:
One of my more challenging predictions. Chelsea put a raincheck on United's hot streak because they're Chelsea. Nothing more. A solid, effective team of disciplined bastards. And Hazard. Everton are in good nick also, but they're no Chelsea.
Away win

ARSENAL vs CHELSEA
Terrence Howard was in JUICE with Tupac, I think. And that movie where Taye Diggs and Morris Chestnut. And a few others. EMPIRE is the first movie I've seen him play the lead role. Its a good movie. You should watch it.

--->>>Captaincue (tipster, gangster, superstar, master-blaster...)

LET IT BE

In June 2009, Manchester United agreed a then world-record £80m deal with them folks in the Spanish capital for a certain Cristiano Ronaldo. I saw this guy's debut for United and purposely watched him develop into the paragon of greatness that he is. I was sad to see him leave and many a United supporting fan's heart was broken. Their sadness took several turns for the worse when Sir Alex chose to replace the departed maverick with underwhelming names like Obertan, Valencia and a past-it Michael Owen. In retrospect, the team was just as effective, but the impact, flair and unique technique of the departed was sorely missed.
Every time Valencia failed to control a pass and/or shanked a shot and/or failed to find a teammate with a cross, United fans would groan in unison;
"Ronaldo would've controlled that pass"
"Ronaldo would've buried that chance"
And so on...

Yesterday, 22nd of April marked the fifth anniversary of the passing of Nigeria's own hip hop maverick; Dagrin. God rest his soul. His death coincided with the boom in social media in the country. The news spread like wildfire and the feeling all over the country was one of deep grief at a young Achiever's untimely death. The outpouring of love that followed was applaudable. I think I speak for several people when I say Dagrin's signature genial cackle in songs, along with his famed cherubic demeanour have been sorely missed.

Its immoral to speak ill of the dead (except the dead's name is Mussolini/Idi Amin...). It smacks of cowardice and preposterousness because the dead cannot defend themselves and their works. But we cannot forget the ones we lost, so we attempt to immortalize them by discussing history and the departed's impact every once in long whiles.

Absence breaks one's heart. Absolute absence (of a permanent kind) brings up all sorts of things. Posthumous honours are conferred, achievements are desecrated (or magnified), flaws are downplayed (or magnified). Legacies are fabricated. By the by, revisionism ensues.
The people that trivialize the achievements of the departed disagree with those who blow those achievements out of proportion. This almost always happens. So I'll give my own account/verdict because I experienced these things firsthand.

CR7 did not score every chance he had at United. CR7 did not successfully dribble every defender he faced at United. This might be unpopular but I'll say it: NOT every Dagrin track was 'great'! Yeah, I said it. But a large percentage of his work was fucking awesome. And will always be. That's the true measure of greatness. Recognizing and reconciling one's self with these facts will curb the tendencies of revisionism that pervade recounts of the works of the ones we lost.Do not impugn their legacies by adding to/taking away from what these folks did. Just let it be.
P.S: Now you can masturbate to the scenes of 'best of Ronaldo' while you listen to the CEO  album and cry into your Man United pillows...

--->>>Captaincue (..I look at what these people had done at my age and I almost despair. Almost!)

WEEKEND BETTING TIPS (18-19/04/2015)

A caveat to begin with: These tips are loose guidelines for betting folks. They're NOT strict, ironclad predictions. You should view, appreciate, espouse, edit and delete as appropriate. That said, we all share a common interest of winning big & you should realise I only post tips I believe are gonna come to pass. Here goes:

NICE vs PSG:
I know, I know. After PSG's disappointing defeat at home to Barcelona, I understand some of you will be ambivalent in staking on a PSG win. Not to worry boys, Ibrahimovic will be back and PSG will romp to victory. Mark my words.
Away win

BARCELONA vs VALENCIA:
"One for me and one for the Lady"
Waiter: "Pardon?"
*shifts uncomfortably in my chair *
"One Chapman for me and one Chapman for the lady"
Waiter: "One for you and one for the lady?"
"Yes, yes. Two Chapmen please!!"
Over 3.5goals please

GRANADA vs SEVILLA:
Sevilla are the Novak Djokovic of Spanish football right now. You struggle to pinpoint their strengths, but you won't be able to find any discernible weakness(es). Djokovic is a bastard.
X2

AJAX vs NAC BREDA:
Read above...
1X

EIBAR vs CELTA de VIGO:
I like Robert Ludlum's books. I have a soft spot for The Bourne Identity. A book that big is bound to contain some beautiful nonsense like; "Cain is for Delta and Carlos is for Cain...Cain is for Delta! Delta One is Cain! Medusa moves; the snake sheds his skin. Cain is in Paris and Carlos will be his!"
Celta annihilated Rayo 6-1 last week. They're certainly worth a punt at lowly Eibar, no?
Mr Ludlum said to accentuate the obvious -- that an opportunity will present itself. Recognize it. Use it.
Obviously, Celta are in form, and this is a big opportunity to boost my accumulator.
Celta Vigo win

TRABZONSPOR vs GALATASARAY:
The good thing about betting on the number of goals that'll be scored in a game is that you need not worry about the team that wins and all that. This is my forte.
Over 1.5goals

CAGLIARI vs NAPOLI:
Infuriatingly inconsistent. Napoli have been woefully unpredictable (which is a bad thing for tipsters!). After comfortable consecutive victories at home to Fiorentina and away to Wolfsburg, I think its wise to bet on a Napoli win here.

HOFFENHEIM vs BAYERN MUNICH:
For ge same reason as PSG, an away win please.

BAYER LEVERKUSEN vs HAMBURG:
Leverkusen have been my surest banker in recent weeks and I think they'll coast to victory at home to a woeful Hamburg side.
Home win

After examining these teams, I am going out on a limb and predicting Over1.5 goals in the following games:
CRYSTAL PALACE vs WESTBROM
LEICESTER vs SWANSEA
PSV vs HEERENVEN
INTERNAZIONALE vs AC MILAN
LYON vs ST. ETIENNE.

And for the audacious tip of the weekend, I'm calling the Empoli vs Parma game. The odd on a Parma win is 6.00. Lol. Both teams are rather, Parma's own stemming from an administrative meltdown rather than a dearth in quality. I'm staking on a Parma win, but it won't be in this accumulator. (Include/exclude at your discretion).
Good luck boys (and girls?!)

Yours in tipster-y;
Captaincue (can't call Chelsea/United, so I'll just enjoy the match)

WEEKEND BETTING TIPS (18-19/04/2015)

A caveat to begin with: These tips are loose guidelines for betting folks. They're NOT strict, ironclad predictions. You should view, appreciate, espouse, edit and delete as appropriate. That said, we all share a common interest of winning big & you should realise I only post tips I believe are gonna come to pass. Here goes:

NICE vs PSG:
I know, I know. After PSG's disappointing defeat at home to Barcelona, I understand some of you will be ambivalent in staking on a PSG win. Not to worry boys, Ibrahimovic will be back and PSG will romp to victory. Mark my words.
Away win

BARCELONA vs VALENCIA:
"One for me and one for the Lady"
Waiter: "Pardon?"
*shifts uncomfortably in my chair *
"One Chapman for me and one Chapman for the lady"
Waiter: "One for you and one for the lady?"
"Yes, yes. Two Chapmen please!!"
Over 3.5goals please

GRANADA vs SEVILLA:
Sevilla are the Novak Djokovic of Spanish football right now. You struggle to pinpoint their strengths, but you won't be able to find any discernible weakness(es). Djokovic is a bastard.
X2

AJAX vs NAC BREDA:
Read above...
1X

EIBAR vs CELTA de VIGO:
I like Robert Ludlum's books. I have a soft spot for The Bourne Identity. A book that big is bound to contain some beautiful nonsense like; "Cain is for Delta and Carlos is for Cain...Cain is for Delta! Delta One is Cain! Medusa moves; the snake sheds his skin. Cain is in Paris and Carlos will be his!"
Celta annihilated Rayo 6-1 last week. They're certainly worth a punt at lowly Eibar, no?
Mr Ludlum said to accentuate the obvious -- that an opportunity will present itself. Recognize it. Use it.
Obviously, Celta are in form, and this is a big opportunity to boost my accumulator.
Celta Vigo win

TRABZONSPOR vs GALATASARAY:
The good thing about betting on the number of goals that'll be scored in a game is that you need not worry about the team that wins and all that. This is my forte.
Over 1.5goals

CAGLIARI vs NAPOLI:
Infuriatingly inconsistent. Napoli have been woefully unpredictable (which is a bad thing for tipsters!). After comfortable consecutive victories at home to Fiorentina and away to Wolfsburg, I think its wise to bet on a Napoli win here.

HOFFENHEIM vs BAYERN MUNICH:
For ge same reason as PSG, an away win please.

BAYER LEVERKUSEN vs HAMBURG:
Leverkusen have been my surest banker in recent weeks and I think they'll coast to victory at home to a woeful Hamburg side.
Home win

After examining these teams, I am going out on a limb and predicting Over1.5 goals in the following games:
CRYSTAL PALACE vs WESTBROM
LEICESTER vs SWANSEA
PSV vs HEERENVEN
INTERNAZIONALE vs AC MILAN
LYON vs ST. ETIENNE.

And for the audacious tip of the weekend, I'm calling the Empoli vs Parma game. The odd on a Parma win is 6.00. Lol. Both teams are rather, Parma's own stemming from an administrative meltdown rather than a dearth in quality. I'm staking on a Parma win, but it won't be in this accumulator. (Include/exclude at your discretion).
Good luck boys (and girls?!)

Yours in tipster-y;
Captaincue (can't call Chelsea/United, so I'll just enjoy the match)

DON'T BE STUPID

In that epic scene in the Yorùbá comedy; Opakan, a guy was going to pay for his friend's meal. The one that was going to pay ordered something in the region of N150 while the dude he was going to pay for ordered for something in the region of N700. So the one that was going to pay decided to go Dutch. The result was catastrophic for the one they were gonna pay for. It was funny as hell.

After the victory of the candidate I supported (and voted for) in the Nigerian Presidential elections, I intentionally put a raincheck on the obvious narrative: "after failing, pick yourself up and go again"; as the old General has done. I will write something along those lines imminently of course.
In the immediate aftermath of the announcement of election results, we all celebrated in our ways. Politicians, shameless bunch that they are decamped to the winning side. People pledged support and cooperation to the incoming President. Associations and Institutions made elaborate pledges of allegiances to the General.
The one that particularly struck me was the announcement purportedly made by the association of prostitutes; aptly named : ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIAN PROSTITUTES (I kid you not) that all members of the noble association would give it to their loving customers pro bono for three days. I was delighted for boys when I saw that announcement on Linda Ikeji.

Then I saw on Nairaland the following day that a guy who meant no harm but  apparently believes everything he's told or sees refused to pay in the morning after doing a TDB. He got beat by her colleagues. To a pulp. I don't want to, but Lol. The guy's naiveté is remarkable, but after laughing at his error of judgement, I came to realize that some people are really ignorant of such things. They just don't know better.

This paragraph is dedicated to the people that make mistakes so the rest of us can learn and guard against making those mistakes. Fair play to y'all.

Lessons:
1. There's no honour in staying with the losing side
2. Do not eat more than the fellow who's paying
3. Go with enough money when visiting a brothel
4. Who does a TDB??!!!
Haba.

Captaincue (mi o kin lo to iseju marun...)