WEEKEND BETTING TIPS (22/23-10-2016)

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to win N2million with N100. For this, and all other things, we thank God. Here goes:

NEWCASTLE X IPSWICH:
A bit unusual to start my weekend betting tips with a Championship match. Still, we're gathered here to make money. Newcastle have 7wins in 9 matches; with four wins on the trot. With form like that, any opponent is fucked.
Home win.

CROTONE X NAPOLI:
The home side will be overwhelmed. Away win.

ROMA X PALERMO:
A thrilling 3-3 draw in midweek notwithstanding, Roma are in a rich vein of form. Home win's a banker.

PSV X SPARTA ROTTERDAM:
PSV have a solitary point from their last four Eredivisie matches and lost heavily at Bayern. Still, they'll be too good for the away side here.

INGOLSTADT X DORTMUND:
The home sides form reads; LLLLLL. Dortmund have a mini injury crisis, but they'll add another 'L' here.

WEST HAM X SUNDERLAND:
David Moyes putting in DavidMoyes-y performances? Who saw that coming?! Home win.

ARSENAL vs MIDDLESBROUGH: Boro need to get their shit together and arrest the decline. Unfortunately, playing an in-form Arsenal away is not the ideal start.
Home win.

MUNICH X MONCHENGLADBACH:
After recent downturn in results, Bayern have two consecutive comfortable wins. Gladbach are a decent side at home but have a rotten away form.
Comfortable home win.
.
SPORTING LISBON X TONDELA: Haba. Home win all the way.

REAL MADRID X ATHLETIC BILBAO: An interesting fixture that is always, always entertaining.
Home win and over 2.5goals.

Audacius bet of the weekend: CHELSEA vs MAN UNITED: two sides in transition gradually coming into their own. I still think Chelsea's defence is creaky. For this, I tip a narrow United win.

Remember, these are nought but tips. Espouse, edit and delete as seen fit. Good luck boys.

Captaincue.

WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY: BIG SAM'S DEFENESTRATION

In pro football, I imagine representing your country is one of the undoubted highlights of a career, because so long as you're putting on your national colors, someone from a different ethnicity, of a different religion and background, will pine for your success; for one-and-a-half hours at least. This is all imaginary of course, but I believe footballically, something trumps playing for your country: coaching your national team. My imagination isn't wide of the mark according to the words of Sam Allardyce when he was appointed as the manager of the Three Lions:

“As a youngster you start and you dream of playing football, and, when you finally make it, your next dream has to be what is the next level for you. You dream of being a manager, you achieve it and you work your way through the ranks and you look for the ultimate goal. If you strive for the ultimate goal you might never get there but if you keep going and keep being successful ultimately you will. So for me it is a privileged position to now get to the top of the tree, the top of the ladder and this job couldn’t be bigger. No job is bigger than this for me.”

Sam Allardyce, a veteran of English football, has consistently decried the supposed lack of chances afforded coaches of English descent at getting top, top jobs. After years of championing allegations of reverse-xenophobia in England, Allardyce was given the England job after Roy Hodgson's woeful failure at #Euro2016. A man's recurring dream had finally come true - - as he was tasked with taking his country to the 2018 World cup in Russia & beyond.

To the surprise of many, a two-year mandate ended after only 67 days as Allardyce was fired after a sting operation by an English newspaper had brutally exposed him giving advice on how to circumvent some FA laws, mocking his predecessor, speaking unguardedly about England's royalty and generally being crass.

Now, it must be pointed out that money is never enough, but Big Sam was on an annual salary of  £3million and he was already a multimillionaire. Still, being caught on camera in a restaurant, eating like a wolf and looking inebriated while making reckless remarks about your employers isn't exactly the hallmark of a man who just got his dream job. Big Sam fucked this one up and this time, reverse-xenophobia can't be blamed -- only his unwitting crassness cost him.

In 'The Dark Knight', one of the movies by a criminally underrated writer/director in Hollywood, the villain; 'The Joker' said: "..do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it..."

Now, to extrapolate a football analogy into real life. You'll probably deserve it when resilience, or excellence, or persistent hard work, or luck (or anything you believe in) presents you with a coveted, lofty opportunity. Big Sam's mistake, our lesson! What happens after your dream comes true? Don't fuck it up.

Just because you've been wanting something for a long, long time doesn't mean you know what to do with it when it drops in your lap. You're not The Joker, you must have a plan to handle prosperity. Are you really ready for progress; with all the increased scrutiny and schadenfreude that comes with it? Big Sam wasn't.

You better be.
Watch yourself.

--CAPTAINCUE (...is a freelance writer taking on gigs for unridiculous money. Send me a direct message on Twitter @Captaincue or send me a mail with your writing needs at kaptaincue@gmail.com)